I May Not Be a Thai Princess After All

I stumbled across this article in last week's Economist. I don't think I look like the King of Thailand AT ALL. Maybe it's because he's part Chinese and I, presumably, am not. Also, I had no idea he bore such a striking resemblance to Alfred E. Neuman. The more I think about it though, I don't really think I look that Thai in general. I sort of see a resemblance between myself and Tiger Woods, but maybe that's only because he's famous for being really great at golf and I had a fairly WASPy upbringing, despite being neither white, Anglo-Saxon, nor Protestant. Hmmm. So, I google imaged 'Thai women' and it's official, I don't think I'm really Thai. Strangers are constantly asking me if I'm a Filipina - maybe they're on to something. I mean, I guess that WOULD explain my fixation with being a China-Latina. When I was little, my mother told me that my name in Thailand was Malyaat, which translates to 'good manners'. Well, I just googled it and came up pretty empty handed. WTF? I seriously smell a rat. Has everyone been lying to me this whole time? I used to think I was an exiled illegitimate Thai princess, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm really from Laos or Cambodia. I'm going to ask Listmaker what he thinks when he gets back from Asia.