Two weeks and no email sex.

So, two weeks ago today, I randomly ended up having email sex with this guy I slept with once back in 2001. I'm not really sure how it started, but it took FOREVER! It started around 2:00PM and lasted until around 6:00PM. For this sort of thing, IM is probably a better medium, but I'm old fashioned, so I only like to email. So, the person in question, let's just call him RES (short for Random Email Sex), is married now and no longer available for actual sex. Some think he is no longer available for email sex either.

I've been thinking a lot about the moral and ethical implications of engaging in such behavior and where I stand on all of it. What, if any, moral obligations do I have and to whom? Some of my friends, all guys, feel that the unattached party bears no responsibility whatsoever. This opinion stands for both virtual and actual indiscretions. In the case of the latter, I completely disagree.

There was this guy I was totally crazy about. I met him in 2001, which apparently was a busy year for me, because that was also the year I started dating M, who I ended up going out with for three years. Anyway, he walked into a party at the Chinatown apartment and before I even said a word to him I was like, 'I'm going to marry that guy some day'. It was as if Boston's 'More than a Feeling' was blasting in the background, drowning out the rest of the party. We ended up hooking up a few days later and started a pseudo transatlantic romance (he lived in Brussels at the time). Through the years, we always kept in touch, but nothing ever really panned out for us because we were both in committed relationships and we lived on different continents. Eventually, after my relationship with M ended, he moved back to New York and I thought this might be our chance to finally date for real. But alas, no dice! He was going steady with some Icelandic chippie who was studying in London. I was so bummed! We hung out a bit, but nothing happened. At some point, he and the Icelandic chippie (IC) got engaged, but he was still living in NYC and she was still in London and / or Iceland. Just under a week before they were to be married, we were dancing at the Frying Pan and he TOTALLY put the moves on me. Even though I really wanted him and wished it could work out and that he would choose me at the last minute instead of IC, I still didn't go for it. Because when all is said and done, I DID have an obligation to IC. I couldn't allow the hook-up knowing that there was some girl on another continent who was in love with this guy and about to get married to him, even if HE could. So ultimately, I made the right decision. The funny part is, IC later accused me of having an affair with her husband, so in hindsight, I guess I should have just gone for it, since I got in trouble for it anyway!

Sorry, this entry is all over the place right now, but I promise, I'll tie it all together soon. So, regarding the virtual indiscretion; it was initiated by RES and I sort of just went with it. I had never had any sort of multi-media sex before and was intrigued by the idea of doing it at work, all the while maintaining a seemingly normal facade to my colleagues. It was fun, but to be honest, I really don't want to do it again if for no other reason than it took way too long. I just don't have time for it. Also, the more I thought about it, if my boyfriend or HUSBAND were having email sex with someone they had previously had actual sex with, I would be LIVID.

So, when the email sex was over, RES was like, 'we should definitely do this again'. As stated in the prior paragraph, I didn't want to do it again anyway, but I'm surprised and marginally offended that he hasn't tried to initiate something with me again. WTF? I know why I didn't want to again, but what's his story? Anyway, that was two weeks ago and NOTHING since. Humph, but I'm glad it worked out that way.